Mr. Lahey and Randy are coming to town, and I’m officially in the shit abyss.
Seriously, Nova Scotia’s premier drunken trailer park supervisor and ex-burger prostitute turned assistant trailer park supervisor are coming to Seattle this Wednesday evening. I’ve got a chemistry exam that I’m thoroughly unprepared for ahead of me, as well as a paper on dystopian literature worth 30% of my grade that I’ve yet to even think about substantially (I hope you’re not reading this, Dr. Aguirre), and damn it, I’m still going to see Bobandy’s gut in its full glistening glory.
What can one really write about Trailer Park Boys? For the uninitiated, the show revolves around the dope and liquor fueled hijinks of three greasy boys just trying to make enough money to retire happily and spend the rest of their days smokin’, drinkin’, and eatin’ chicken fingers in the trailer park they hold so dear. In their way stands Jim Lahey, a man equally consumed by his passion for liquor and obsession with maintaining order in the park, and Randy, his cheeseburger junky of an assistant/lover. If you’re unfamiliar with the show I highly suggest you drop whatever calculus/Foucault reading/generally being a productive cog in modern society you’re doing, hijack your ex’s Netflix account, and start up Trailer Park Boys season 1.
As I’m sure you could already tell, I’m a massive fan of Trailer Park Boys, and seeing Randy’s gut in 3d is something of a dream of mine. I’ve also heard rumors that at a recent show, Randy went so far as to bring a fat paper bag of dirty ol’ cheeseburgers onstage and proceeded to sell them to the audience. Is it sad that I would happily throw away good, clean American dollars to partake in the carnal satisfaction of diving into the depths of that greasy abyss? I don’t like the NFL, or driving huge cars, or even Vin Diesel movies for that matter, so just let me have this one. If anyone else feels like jeopardizing their general academic wellbeing, I guarantee it’ll be worth it, and I’ll see you Wednesday night.
Mr. Lahey and Randy will be coming to The Crocodile this Wednesday, May 13th for an all ages show. Doors open at 8:00 p.m.
Dylan Gnatz // Vandelay Industries // Ex-Disciple of the Eternal Bowl Cut // KXSU Staff Writer